Rattle Rattle...

Mid-life and identity crisis...two very different forms of a situation that can arise perpetually in any person's life. Well they come uninvited and sit just right next to you on a bench atop a mountain that looks down on a sea...u don't want it there with you but it sticks like it just doesn't have anywhere else to go...

I write and I write and then I erase
Thoughts are cramped, feelings mixed
Want to publish a book, each page a chapter.
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To wade through a sea of wails
Stand on the beach and teach whales how to smile
To hold a tender body close
Read a mind better than myself
Sleep in a heart made of red and pink feathers and a bit of flesh
Sit on a bench and let the world just BE...
I dream yet again...
Will I ?
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Assumptions and truth!!

Quiet...very quiet...if I slide the volume control of the laptop just a little to my right, it would be quieter in this 10X10 room with cream painted walls and sardinal blue curtains that speak more when they are hung and not drawn. The table clock that has stopped ticking gives me a stare from behind my computer screen, I'm scared but this white screen shields me from glares that are aiming to target my moments of uselessness. The mirror in front is rarely looked at because it shows someone so full of unnecessary misery to me!!My stare snaps in a fraction of a second, I hate this! CrouchedI am paining the bed more than ever now. It hasn't had much rest since yesterday. Where do I go in this 10X10 cell...did i say cell...well thats what it looks like at night....with the curtains drawn and when every single moment of the day ticks pass and I do nothing!!!
Assumptions are made and surpassed, saturation points reached and passed, all within the confinement! I wake up to the sounds of chaurasiya's flute that took ages to download and now I realize it's time to sleep! Looking forward to tomorrow!!

Thoughts whiz by

Got up early morning today...had a class to catch...mornings have always had me thinking...refer to last post. Dadaji's (grandpa in hindi) face floats right infront of eyes...He used to wake me up early mornings during exams for tea.....I never liked it then and it always failed to wake me up from my dreams.....ahhh....WONDEROWRLD...Today, I made myself a cuppa coffee...to stay awake in the class...Habits die hard!!
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Thoughts whiz past...
I wasn't so...I am today...
I sit up with footsteps,
Words are long,
shoulders cripple me...
And so I stand, as I am!